How To Create A Learning Environment At Home

Albie Buabeng is buying her first home—and taking us along for the ride! Catch up with her process, from the first step to financing to making an offer and (finally!) closing.

If you've been following along my journey from renter to homeowner, you've probably heard me say on more than one occasion that you don't know what you don't know. There's a lot that we braced ourselves for that never came to pass, while on the other hand, we met hurdles that we had no idea to even expect. These are lessons that I can now share with friends, family, and followers, but above all else, these are lessons that we can carry with us and eventually pass on to our daughter. Read on to learn what I wish I'd known before starting this process.

Finding the Right Realtor Is Key

At the top of this process, we didn't know how many people would be involved, but we knew for certain we needed a realtor. We needed (and wanted) someone who would advocate for us, be honest with us, and educate us on all things home buying. Since this was our first time buying a home, we needed to work with someone who would be an expert throughout this process. I also wanted someone who didn't just see this as a transactional relationship. After all, this was someone who would know all the inner workings of our life, from our finances to our (eventual) address.

After working with our realtor, Jesse Flake, I am even more thankful for what she did for us. Besides her expertise, she also gave us comfort. We were able to have candid conversations with her, trust her with our likes & dislikes, and turn to her during some of the most distressing parts of the process.

Buying While Black Is Stressful

My husband and I work hard, and believe that our hard work affords a lot of privileges that some others may not have. We acknowledge that. But here's the thing… we're still two Black millennials in 21st century America. Buying a home in the throes of a civil rights awakening made us acutely aware of economic disparities we maybe otherwise never thought about. In additional to worrying about how our financial portfolio would be viewed by lenders, we also found ourselves nervously wondering whether or not sellers would be receptive to our offers, the kind of neighbors we'd have in our new neighborhood, and the inclusivity of the school districts we'd be considering for our daughter.

Our Google search history was riddled with phrases like, "Black population in (neighborhood name)..." and news searches for certain areas to gauge the response during the summer 2020 protests. Some of the most candid conversations we had with our realtor included asking about the demographic makeup and diversity of every neighborhood we considered. A lot of houses were quickly ruled out because they were located in areas that weren't known for their progressiveness.

Related: How Real Estate Practices Have Systemically Hurt Black Americans

Interestingly (and perhaps to our benefit, sadly), we were also buying during a pandemic, so our realtor went to all of the showings as our proxy. Therefore, sellers, listing agents, and local residents saw her (a white woman) long before they saw us. When we finally did come to look at a home—the home we bought—we took an additional 30 minutes prior to drive around the entire neighborhood to see how comfortable we would feel as a Black family there, cautious not to look "suspicious" while getting the lay of the land. On the one hand, we were simply doing our due diligence for our new potential home, but admittedly, the racial implications were also uncomfortably top of mind for us.

Your Fiscal Report Card Is More Than Just Money and Credit

One of our biggest concerns walking into this process was whether or not our finances were "enough" for us to be homeowners. We didn't exactly quantify what "enough" would look like, but buying a home would likely be the largest financial transaction we'd make. Did we have enough savings? Did we have enough cash on hand? Was our credit good enough? Were we enough? (Spoiler Alert: we were.)

We were more than enough, not because we were flushed with cash or had 800 credit scores, but because our fiscal report cards are a lot more multifaceted than we realized. While we also had the benefit of using a VA loan, holistically, there were a lot of factors that made us way more prepared than we'd anticipated: Employment status, employment history, credit score, debt to credit ratio, savings balance, cash on hand. All of that mattered on paper and the end result was the sum of all of those factors, not one over the other.

Related: The Most Popular Types of Home Loans

My husband works what would be considered a "traditional" job, which garners a paycheck from an employer, while I am a full-time content creator. For some people, this dynamic would look like a disadvantage or be a potential challenge for buying a home, but for us, it wasn't. The truth of the matter is, had we kept waiting for what's deemed a "perfect" financial status, we would've never bought our home. Instead, we did the work on our finances and were able to embark on a home buying journey that met us where we were financially.

Inspections Aren't Exciting, But They Don't Have to Be Scary

One part of the process we'd always heard about was the inspection process— but that isn't to say that we actually knew what it entailed or what to expect. All we knew of the inspection process were the horror stories we'd heard either of what an inspection would reveal or what could come up later if someone skipped one.

It's not the most exciting part of the home buying process, but it really wasn't the scariest; and to be honest, it was quite illuminating. We learned so much about the home we ended up buying, from simple tasks we'd have to tackle to larger home maintenance jobs that would require our attention eventually. We were able to confidently make a decision on our home, but all the details from our inspection report have also helped up prioritize our homeowner to do list now that we live here.

Bottom line: aA thorough inspection + informative inspector = minimal surprises in the long run.

Being a First Time Homeowner Is Like Being a First Time Parent

I remember when my husband and I were expecting our baby girl. Everyone had an opinion on what to expect and offered us all kinds of advice… most of it preparing us for the worst. The same was true when it came to buying a house. While we didn't share with too many people that we were buying, everything we'd heard up until this point described everything that could go wrong during the purchasing process.

Most of the harsh truths we'd heard about never came to pass. Our home buying experience, just like our parenting, has been unique to us. And this isn't to say it wasn't without its challenges… they just weren't the challenges anyone ever brought up. In summary: no two experiences are the same, so I am glad we didn't get jaded from all the negative experiences we'd heard about.

Buy the House You Want, Not Just the House You Need

From the beginning of this process we had a list of wants, needs, and must haves… a lot of which was the culmination of a lifetime of renting. We saw a lot of homes that would've satisfied our basic requirements—size, price, location, etc.—but they didn't exactly make our hearts sing. They were utilitarian to a fault and there was little chance that they'd be our forever homes—they weren't the home we wanted.

While for some the search isn't fun, for us it was necessary because we weren't inclined to settle. While there is no such thing as the "perfect" house (even new builds come with compromises), we knew that with some patience, we'd find the one perfect for us. This specifically meant taking our time going through the search and not rushing the process. We looked at every home through a lens of how it would impact our quality of life (How much work will this home require? Will we be able to design and decorate to our liking?). Even after making an offer on a house and not getting it, we weren't discouraged. We knew that the house that was for us would reveal itself… and it did.

Make a List, Check It Twice...and Stick to It

Remember my list of wants, needs, and must haves? That list wasn't just a list for list sake (and trust me, I love a good list!). This list was also our guide. Our realtor stuck to it and we stuck to it. Anytime we found ourselves drooling over some real estate eye candy, that list brought us back to reality, and helped us discern what houses were worth our time. We saved dozens of house that we liked, but of that, only maybe half checked off the boxes on our list.

There were very few factors that we were willing to compromise on but we did have some circumstances that would make certain factors bearable. For example, we didn't want an old home; however, we were willing to consider homes up to a certain age if, let's say, the inspection report didn't reveal any red flags or certain upgrades were made by a licensed contractor. Having this point of reference for all things really kept us from getting distracted, and I can't help but think that this contributed to what was a shorter than usual buying process—or at least shorter than what people warned us about.

At the very top of the journey, our realtor told us that the experience should make us feel 80% excitement and 20% nervousness. Even as we continued to navigate the more unsavory parts of the process, those percentages never flipped for us. Did they sometimes shift? For sure! For a while at the end, it was definitely more 60/40 excitement versus nervousness, but even then, there's very little we would've done differently. Having experienced purchasing our first home, however, has given us a whole new education of everything from money matters to interior design. We went through the process eyes wide open, despite our previous ignorance of home ownership. We took in every moment, mentally cataloging every detail because we knew that all of these lessons would later and always be to our benefit.

Now, we've been able to jump right into designing, renovating, and getting settled into our home, but only because of the lessons we learned during the process. We took an inventory of everything we went through to get to where we are and it all paid off. While they're lots of things to do that aren't just the pretty parts, our journey allowed us to prepare for what comes after closing day. Now that the home buying is done, the home making can begin!

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